Really Needing You
by klcm
Summary: Morgan and Garcia realise that they really need one another when the time comes for it
1. Her Needs

Disclaimer again I'll tell you I don't own Criminal Minds but I can nick characters from you for a little while!

* * *

**Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor  
Reaching for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind  
For me it happens all the time**

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now  
And I don't know how I can do without  
I just need you now

She couldn't believe that it was only weeks, looking at the photo she felt like it was years ago that she had a man in her life that she could call her best friend, the one she could just tell her concerns to, just empty her thoughts to and not have to worry. Now she'd realised that their relationship wasn't empty of boundaries like she had wanted to believe.

She'd voiced her concerns over his choice in one woman and she knew from the look on his face that she had taken one step too far with it. He didn't even take any proper notice that she'd told him she loved him in that sentence, he just told her he knew. Except he didn't know how much she loved him but what caused her to tell him was jealous but instead her voice wedged a jam between them. After all he was a grown man, she was just the best friend on the side, at the end of the day what she wanted for him was never going to be what he wanted.

She looked at the photo's that surrounded her on the wooden floor, the good times as she'd deemed them. The cheerier times when she could believe that the world was full of awesome people and that not everyone was out for greed or neglect or to be selfish but then she soon realised that everyone had a part of them that was reserved for those feelings. Even she could hold herself accountable for that part, sometimes you need to be selfish to gain anything in life.

She picked up one photos and smiled, first year of their friendship, when she was still naive to what their jobs entailed but she knew that soon after that when she slowly learnt he was beside her to help her cope. He was there to help soothe her qualms and rid of her memories the best he could. She let the photo fall to the floor and picked up a new one, a major skip in life.

They were grown more, matured, life lines and frown lines showing up deeper. She remembered this photo, he'd taken her out about a week after she'd gotten out of the hospital after Battle, and he'd wanted her to have as many happy memories as she wanted but soon that wasn't what he wanted because Kevin Lynch came along.

The next photo her hand laid on was of her and said man, she looked at it; she'd loved the man in the still frame, almost gone as far to say she was peaking being in love. Her eyes blurred out the photo in her hand as they focused on the photo's below. Derek Morgan was in the top one, was in the one to the left of that, was in the one above that, below it, several layers of photo's were scattered around and on most of them were of her and Derek Morgan, each and everyone they had some sort of connection, most times it was physically, others it was their gaze holding one another's.

Without thinking she ripped the photo in her hands up, Kevin was a useless SOB that would and could rot in hell. It was as she looked at the photo's she realised that her disengagement with Derek was all down to Kevin. Fair enough she was in a relationship and she wanted it to work, needed it to work but in the end it was useless. Kevin Lynch was a love rat and had been for the 2 months of their relationship.

It was at the same time that she found out Kevin's first, and as he claimed only infidelity, that she loved Derek Morgan more than she could ever love Kevin Lynch. However, Kevin had been leading a double life, when a case was on, he was sleeping around, when a case wasn't on, he was sleeping with her.

Now it was past one in the morning and she couldn't help but feel that life wasn't as dandy as she loved it to be, it was darker, and scarier and lonelier and the only person she wanted and needed right at that moment was the one man that was no longer living in her pocket.

She had to admit that since taking Kevin back 2 months ago her thoughts had become somewhat consumed with the man that knew her best. She'd promised herself she'd make the distance with him bearable, allow him the relationship she hadn't wanted to acknowledge and give him his independence back.

But it was as she felt her heart break all over again at the truth she'd just discovered that she realised that she didn't want to keep her heart's desires a secret anymore. The way she saw it was that she'd already lost Derek from her life in the biggest way possible that telling him a home truth couldn't do much more damage.

She grabbed her phone from among the photos and pushed the number she'd kept for him. She hadn't changed it, she might have lost him in person but she'd didn't have to lose him in all other aspects of her life. She put the phone to her ear and sighed.

'You've reach the voicemail of Derek Morgan, sorry I can't take your call but just leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.'

Penelope didn't wait for the beep; she felt she didn't deserve it so she put the phone down. It was as the call disconnected that she hit a realisation. She didn't want to talk to his phone, or talk to him through a phone; she wanted to talk to the real deal. Have her chocolate God in front of her, to take him in, to bask in what made him, him.

She suddenly realised that in the time she'd spent in her head she'd ripped up most, if not all, photo's that had Kevin in. Leaving the photo's she checked herself in the mirror, reapplying her make up to be immaculate, she blinked away the tears she was fed up with and smiled slightly before leaving her apartment.

Penelope Garcia was after one thing and one thing only that night. She wanted Derek Morgan to know what she felt and thought every time he came near any part of her. And if it all fell through all she asked for was for him to call her Baby Girl for one last time and truly mean it.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ New One I Know! But it's only a threeshot, maybe fourshot but I got stuck in and finished it in one go! =)

Enjoy!!

_**Song:**_ Lady Antebellum – Need You Now


	2. His Needs

Disclaimer again I'll tell you I don't own Criminal Minds but I can nick characters from you for a little while!

* * *

**Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door  
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind  
For me it happens all the time**

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now  
And I don't know how I can do without  
I just need you now

He looked at the cubes of ice as they slowly melted in his glass and then looked down the bar, ordering another he took another look to the door of the bar but only saw the type of women he didn't want right at that moment.

He knew he was drunk, but at that moment it was better to do that than feel the feelings like he'd been used. He grabbed his fresh drink looked at the new ice swirling around and then downed the next shot, he then thought of what had happened to him, who he now wanted and he realised how in tatters his world was in that moment of weakness.

He remembered a time when the one person he wanted would just come in knowingly and sit and drink with him and then take him home and make everything better with just being there but in the last couple of weeks the strain on their relationship status had increased and now it was questionable to think of where they stood with one another.

It was now, with the ability of having hind sight, that he realised that she'd been right all along, he wasn't in the right place to start a potential relationship, professionally or mentally. Now he knew why she'd stepped in that day that felt like decades ago, now he knew why she had told him she loved him. She didn't want to see him hurt and now he was and he didn't want to show her how right she was.

He was holding out on a lost hope thinking she'd come through the door and be his heroine. After all she didn't need him; she had a boyfriend, a loyal boyfriend, one that kept her thoughts off of him. He could've smacked himself then and there; it wasn't all down to her that she wasn't there. Tamara Barnes was his problem, she'd been involved in a case deeply, too deeply and then he got too involved. Now it was over because Tamara didn't really love him, she'd just used him. That stung but it was an eye opener to what he wanted.

He thought about his life and all that was vivid was the time he'd had Penelope Garcia in his life. It might have been for only 8 years but it was the best and for some parts the worse years of his life. He knew he loved her and it was only until this night that he refused to acknowledge how deeply he truly loved her, how deeply he wanted her but he knew that she'd never want him, not like that, not now at least.

He remember one night specifically, the night that his feelings for her escalated, the night he found she was shot, the night he might have lost her for good. Truly been on the earth without his dose of sunshine, his laughter, his whole persona. He could feel it all dwindling away on him and now it was all just a twinkle of his former self.

He felt himself near enough yearn for her, want her like he'd wanted no other woman. He'd always wanted her, selfishly wanted her and he'd lost her and he knew he had to make it right. Completely right. He had to have what they had back and he was going to make sure of it. Whether or not she had a boyfriend, he just wanted her, boyfriend included; he'd bare it just to have her back with him. To have the right to call her Baby Girl without feeling it was inappropriate or awkward.

He had only regrets at the moment, an unchangeable past but now he had a flexible future, one that was there for him to mould as he wanted. It was his life and he was going to take complete control of it. For once in his life he was going to take charge.

He took his phone from his pocket and just played with it around in his fingers, indecisive as how to approach his next bit, he looked at the clock on the wall, a little after quarter past one and there were a few dancing punters but now the bar population was thinning out some and he knew soon he'd have to leave. He opened his phone and hit the number for Penelope and put the phone to his ear as he listened to it begin to connect.

'Hey this is Pen, you've reached my lovely voicemail self but if you'd like to leave a message I'll get back to you lovely as soon as I possibly can! Byeee!'

Her melodic voice filled his ears and he felt himself gain a despondent aura. He had prayed she'd pick up, she usually did, and he'd hoped things hadn't changed too much but now he was onto her voicemail and just as the beep was about to ring out he closed the phone and put it on the top of the bar, ordering one more drink he looked down at the phone. Willing it to ring by some off chance, praying it'd just ring out and it'd be her name and number that would flash up. He knew if that happened he'd answer but it didn't happen as the minute hand continued to tick by.

If there was one thing Derek Morgan hated most in the world it was voicemail and right at that moment he didn't want to spill a pity party into a limited time, he didn't want to concern her, he just wanted to hear her voice, have it's calming influence lay itself over her.

For once the one thing Derek Morgan wanted Penelope Garcia for was to express to her everything he'd been building up and repressing unsuccessfully for the last 8 years. Tell her how it had intensified and doubled before tripling and gaining more and more momentum. How until that night he'd been able to walk over it, try to leave it behind him. Tell her how unbearably hard it was for him to keep it in when he needed her to know.

He knew he didn't have much with her to break but that one fine thread of a lifeline they held on one another was going to be broken or strengthened when he told her the three little words that he could never give easily.

He pushed himself off the stall, slapped his tab bill down, forgetting about the change he stumbled to the door, immediately the air sobering him some. He looked up and down the road and went in the direction of Penelope's apartment with one goal in mind. All he asked for at the end of it was to be able to call her baby girl for the last time and really mean it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
**_A.N:_** Now we're gonna get somewhere!!

Let me know as ever!! =)


	3. Their Needs

Disclaimer again I'll tell you I don't own Criminal Minds but I can nick characters from you for a little while!

* * *

**Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all**

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

Penelope went to Derek's, stood and looked at the darkened house but proceeded to ring the bell multiple times. She felt her heart pound, she just wanted him now, wanted to just say what she needed too, gain a piece of her mind back. She felt her last cinders of hope begin to disappear as no response came, she walked back into the road and looked around, it wasn't a weekend so Derek had to be around and she had no idea where to go. Feeling at a loss she just headed for a place she knew would make her feel close to him.

Derek went to Penelope's with fleeting hope that she'd be there and he could tell her. He stood in the gate way to the courtyard out front and looked at the stairs, images of her laying there filled his head and he looked up and saw her lights out. Without giving up without a chance he went in and up, now at her door he stared at it, worrying if Kevin would be in there but then he didn't care, he'd fight for Penelope all the way. He sucked in a breath, tasting the alcohol as it slowly left and knocked three hard hits onto the wooden door.

'She's not in.' Came a voice from the stairs, he saw a woman coming up with shopping and going to the door opposite. 'She literally ran out of here same time I popped out.'

'Did you see where she went?'

'No sorry.' The woman said and went into the apartment shutting the door behind her and locking it. Derek looked at the door and then went to the stairs. He had no idea where she'd be but he had an idea where to go that wasn't home.

When Penelope made it to the Potomac river she just entered the gate and started to go down to the river front, as she did she saw something moving in through the opposite gate. Freezing at who it could be she felt relieved to see Derek, she'd found him.

Derek walked towards the river but stopped when he saw something, he strained his eyes to look closer and smiled as he realised it was Penelope. Praying it wasn't a dream he began to run towards her. Penelope watched as Derek got closer and she felt her mask sleep, the feeling of utter pain and betrayal that Kevin had left her with took over her as she saw her best friend sprinting towards her. As Penelope got closer Derek felt the urge to tell her she was right, let her ride the moment, and as Penelope started towards him he felt the pain Tamara had left him with and all he wanted was Penelope even more.

'Pen, I've been looking for you.' He said happier for seeing her.

'Seems we've both had the same mission then Hot Stuff.' Penelope told him back and he could hear the quiver in her voice as it went to break with tears.

'I'm sorry.' They both said together and then exchanged an ambiguous look.

'I think we need to talk.' Derek told her and took her hand and lead her to a bench they used to sit on regularly to talk about everything and nothing. They sat down and Penelope watched the waves come in and out and she felt herself break. Derek was silent for a moment, just being around Penelope soothed him and he felt himself begin to crack slightly. He looked when he heard crying and saw Penelope's cheek glistening with the minimal light. 'Pen, what's up?' He said breaking the partial silence that had fallen.

'He cheated on me.' She said and wrung her hands as she hiccupped. 'For 2 months he's been cheating on me.'

'Oh baby girl.' Derek said and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close. He had his heartbreak all the time she had her own.

'I feel like such a fool, so used. I thought he loved me.'

'He never deserved your love baby, never.' Derek soothed as her head fell on his chest. 'You deserve so much better, you deserve someone that's going to love you with all their heart.'

'I'm never gonna love anyone without a heart.' She said, the start of her tirade came. 'But I wanna know if you'll give me it back?' She said and looked at him; Derek just looked at her with a slight grin. 'Derek...'

'What if I don't want to give you it back?'

'You've got to, you've got no choice.' She said quietly, almost ashamed of her own feelings. 'You're in a relationship, I'm not.'

'She used me Pen.' It was Derek's time to let the hurt show. 'And I let her destroy the best friendship I ever had.'

'I would've still been here if you needed me handsome.' She assured him and took his hand in hers. 'Seems we're both in the same boat.'

'Seems we are, but I don't want you to think that Kevin's your ultimate best.' He told her strongly. 'Because he isn't.'

'I'm not gonna do much better but don't you dare think Tamara's anyone to judge relationships on and I'll slap you upside your gorgeous head.' She looked at him and then out of nowhere they both were drawn in and kissing, getting deeper and deeper, their heart ache bleeding out, their absolute yearn and need for one another gathering and being expressed.

When they pulled away they smiled, they'd never felt more free, never felt more alive. A kiss had never felt so alive to them until that day.

'I don't want to lose you again P.' Derek said as he forehead connected to Penelope's. 'I really need you and I didn't realise until I nearly lost you.'

'I thought I'd blown it with going with Kevin.' Penelope confessed. 'You'll never know how much I love you because of him.'

'Let's forget about him.' Penelope shook her head as he went on and he ignored her. 'You did what you needed to P, but we got to where we need to be.'

'I really can't lose you either Derek, I thought I had with Tamara and it opened my eyes and with Kevin, I just...'

'We'll go slowly, get over this together.'

'Together.' Penelope agreed and smiled at him. 'I really needed you tonight.'

'I really needed you too.'

'Seems we got what we needed in the end.'

'Seems we did.' Penelope agreed and just let herself be wrapped in Derek's arms.

Derek's felt Penelope in his arms and felt a weight lift, Tamara might have just broken his heart but he'd come face to face with the truth and it made him realise what he wanted and what he got was what he needed.

As Penelope sat with Derek she realised that she needed Kevin to help her realise just how much she loved Derek, just how much she needed him and just how much she couldn't truly live without him.

In the end they'd both needed one another and they both had gotten one another.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-THE END-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

_**A/N:**_ Another one done!!

Thanks for all the reviews!! If I think of one I'll add an epilogue but for now the theeshots done and we have us a happily ever after! =)

All lyrics are from Lady Antebellum – Need You Now


End file.
